In Theaters: October 30, 2015

There are three wide releases this weekend.

Burnt

Bradley Cooper plays the kitchen version of a grown-up child star.  His character had a significant career as a chef at a young age and somehow lost it and now he wants it back.

Burnt is billed as a comedy but there wasn't anything funny about the trailers I've seen.  I bet this will struggle to find an audience, but I can't really say if it'll be good or not.  UPDATE: I just learned John Wells directed it.  So it'll be pretentious garbage probably.

Burnt is rated R for language throughout.  So maybe Gordon Ramsay has a cameo!

Our Brand Is Crisis

This will do for political campaign managers what "We Are Your Friends" did a couple months ago for aspiring EDM DJ's - that is, make a movie about them that no one will see.  And that's really all I have to say on the matter!

Our Brand Is Crisis is rated R for language including some sexual references.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

I promise you here and now that this will be remembered as nothing except a black mark on Tye Sheridan's acting career.

Just don't.  And while I'm at it I'll let you know that this is barely a real movie.  And by that I mean it's just one small notch above a direct to video release.  Nobody in this movie - behind or in front of the camera - is of note.  Tye Sheridan might be of note in the future, but that's it.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is rated R for zombie violence and gore, sexual material, graphic nudity, and language throughout.

*****

I wish I had some good news for you this week, but all these movies are trash.  Sorry.  Just go see The Martian again, because that movie is outstanding.

      Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: October 23, 2015

There are four wide releases this weekend.

Jem and the Holograms

If you're in the mood for a terrible movie this weekend then look no further.

"Jem" was a cartoon show in the mid to late 80's, and it was a collaboration between several companies including Marvel Productions.  But don't wait for a mid-credits easter egg, because Jem and the Holograms is not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Why did they make it into a movie?  Your guess is as good as mine.  The cartoon wasn't particularly popular.  Actually, if I had to guess I would say they're trying to capitalize on the fan base of Pitch Perfect and Pitch Perfect 2, but it's not going to work.

The estimated budget is $5 million, and it's a good thing, because I think they can make that back - just.

Jem and the Holograms is rated PG for thematic material including reckless behavior, brief suggestive content and some language.

The Last Witch Hunter

Vin Diesel wants another franchise.  He looks around, sees what's available, and picks this one.  Can it work?  Will it work?  I'm thinking no.  And it doesn't really matter, because his other franchise makes plenty of money.

Or maybe he just wanted to make a movie where he gets to shoot witches with shotguns.  I mean, I don't know for sure if he does that in this movie, but it's called The Last Witch Hunter and he's carrying a shotgun in the poster.

The Last Witch Hunter is rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

They're saying this is the last one.  That's the good news.

It's Halloween.  So we need a horror movie and Paranormal Activity is here to disappoint its fans all over again.  But without the Saw franchise or the Paranormal Activity franchise what will we do next Halloween?  I don't know but hopefully we'll have something better by then.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is rated R for language and some horror violence.

Rock The Kasbah

Bill Murray is a really funny actor.  But about ten years ago he fell in with Wes Anderson and all his groupies.  Ever since then he hasn't been as funny.  He's been in several comedies, but they all feel the same.  They all feel cheap and poorly conceived.  Just hearing the premise of a great comedy should make you laugh, and none of them do.  A music producer and talent manager ends up in Afghanistan without an act and discovers some local talent.  Interesting, yes, but not funny initially.  And it's been the same with every movie Bill Murray has done ever since Lost in Translation - which I think was in 2004!  All these dramedies that are just so . . . so bleh.  So middle of the road and mediocre.  I believe Bill Murray is still funny but I don't believe you'll find the proof here.

Rock The Kasbah is rated R for language including sexual references, some drug use and brief violence.

      Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: October 16, 2015

There are four wide releases this weekend.

Bridge of Spies

Steven Spielberg's first movie since about this time in 2012.  Bridge of Spies tells the true story of a prisoner exchange between the United States and the USSR.  Tom Hanks plays a lawyer that negotiated the exchange, and the title refers to a bridge in Berlin where the exchange took place.

Early reviews say that it has the thrills, but maybe pretends to have more depth of story than is actually there.

Bridge of Spies is rated PG-13 for some violence and brief strong language.

P.S. Alan Alda is in this one.  It's always good to see him back on the screen.

Crimson Peak

Guillermo Del Toro's first film since Pacific Rim in the summer of 2013.  Crimson Peak is more in keeping with Guillermo's trippier efforts - like Pan's Labyrinth.

I guess it's about a creepy house with creepy people.  To be honest, this movie looks really weird to me.  And I don't mean in the horror sense of the word, just in the I-don't-get-it sense of the word.

Crimson Peak is rated R for bloody violence, some sexual content and brief strong language.

Goosebumps

My guess is R. L. Stine's wife told him to get off his butt and go make some money again.  This film is aimed right at the one draw it could possibly have - nostalgia.

I will say this, if anyone can save it it's probably Jack Black.

Goosebumps is about a couple kids and the author himself who end up fighting off the monsters from the books.

Goosebumps is rated PG for scary and intense creature action and images, and for some rude humor.

Woodlawn

This is one of those Christian faith-based movies that kinda snuck up on me.  For better or worse they don't get a whole lot of mention in the news except the fact that they are definitely on the rise in the last two years or so.

Just from watching the trailer I can tell you the cinematography in this one is miles beyond recent faith-based movies.

The story centers around a black high school football player in Alabama in the 1970's.  Think of it as Remember the Titans with more focus on one player and thematically centered on Christian faith.

Woodlawn is rated PG for thematic elements including some racial tension/violence.

      Big Shot Critic

Review: Everest

Everest

   This movie was cool.  I saw it almost two weeks ago - and I have since seen a much better movie (The Martian), so it will be a bit difficult for me to recall what made this movie good.  I maintain, however, that Everest is a good movie even though The Martian is better in my opinion.

   Jason Clarke in a leading role is always a good thing.  I think he's from Australia, but in this movie he and several of the other actors play professional climbing guides out of New Zealand.

   The thing about this movie is that it's based on a true story, and from what I can tell it sticks to the real story pretty darn well.  The actual events are pretty amazing and quite sad.  This makes the movie equal parts amazing and sad.  Watching it, you really get a good feel that these characters (portraying actual people) were really fighting for their lives and giving it their all.  As a story of human triumph and hope this movie is pretty unparalleled.

   The basic rundown is that Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) has created guided climbing tours of Mt. Everest (in 1992) and now it's become a full blown industry with other companies forming to do the same thing.  And in this summer (1996) there are something like three to five different teams, each leading their own clients to the top of Mt. Everest.

   The movie does a fantastic job of demonstrating the seriousness of the undertaking to climb Mt. Everest, and an even better job giving the viewer a good working knowledge of the basic geography of the mountain itself - very useful when the storm hits and all the characters are spread across the mountain.  This made it much easier to follow the action and not have to stop and think about what I was watching or who I was watching and knowing what each character needed to do to get out of danger.

   In the end it is sad.  Because it's a true story and not everyone made it back down the mountain.  But more than that it is a very effective story of hope and of normal, real human beings overcoming insane obstacles.  I don't know if people still do guided tours of Everest, but this movie gives the viewer a healthy respect for everyone that has ever climbed Everest.

      Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: October 9, 2015

There is only one wide release this weekend.

Pan

This movie looks very strange.

It's the latest reimagining of the story of Peter Pan and Neverland, but for some reason this time the bad guy is Blackbeard and Pan is working together with James Hook and Tiger Lily to stop him.  I don't know what needs to be stopped, but I know it's Blackbeard that's doing it.

For some reason the boats fly.  Also, everyone dresses like they're from Whoville, and there's a bunch of weird places that the boats fly through in the trailer.  I don't really get it.

Pan is rated PG for fantasy action violence, language and some thematic material.

      Big Shot Critic