Paper Towns
These poor actors. They are probably so excited to be leads in a movie but their names aren't even on the poster and nobody knows who they are. Also, her hair is not only partially blocking his face, but hers too! Does this poster remind anybody else of Get Smart?
Except that in the Get Smart poster the hair blocking the face was the joke! With the Paper Towns poster I'm pretty sure they're not going for comedic effect.
Also, apparently it's a rule now that any serious teen romance dramas must have names that are so poetic that they sound like absolute nonsense. And why not? Teenage girls certainly don't seem to mind.
When you get down to it this movie looks pretty dumb. It's about a high school boy who has loved his neighbor since they were little but hasn't gotten around to doing anything about it when she suddenly drops in and takes him along on an adventure one night (getting back at her ex). The next day she disappears. Like, literally the police are looking for her and stuff. So our hero and his friends try to follow the clues she left behind. Since, you know, who doesn't disappear every once in a while and leave a trail of clues for your destined lover boy to follow?
This movie was made because teenage girls like the feeling of there being a boy who would do all this for them. They are willing to pay for that feeling. Or get their parents to pay, whatever the case may be. So, a PSA to any high school girls reading this blog: Find a guy that loves you and treats you right, but do it in like three to seven years. In the meantime do your homework and steer clear of losers.
Pixels
A few years ago someone released a short film called Pixels. It was nothing more than a reel of footage depicting classic video game characters attacking New York City (Yes, I am aware that is San Francisco in the poster, but the original short was all in New York). This short film did the rounds on the internet and eventually Adam Sandler saw it. Then he said, "I want to turn this into a feature length movie." Fast forward to 2015 and it's here. For better or worse. My money's on worse.
Southpaw
Southpaw chronicles the real-life struggles of Jake Gyllenhaal, a lefty living in a right-handed world. Just kidding. In Southpaw Jake Gyllenhaal plays a champion boxer. He gets in a bit of a dust up outside the ring and a bullet that was meant for him kills his wife. The movie is about him overcoming this trial. It actually looks pretty sweet but it's rated R so I'll be skipping it.
Big Shot Critic
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