In Theaters: August 4th, 2017

There are TWO wide releases this weekend.

The Dark Tower

This project has been circling Hollywood for so long now.

The Dark Tower is one of those adaptations that has been talked about periodically for at least the last twelve years.  It comes up, then it goes away.  Some talent is attached, and then it fades.  The producers want a tie-in TV series combined with several movies, then they decide to start with one.  Seven years ago it was announced that Ron Howard would direct with a release date of May 7, 2013.  Obviously that didn't happen.  And Ron Howard did not direct this movie.

The Dark Tower is adapted from a Stephen King novel, or rather, a series of Stephen King novels.  Apparently they're very popular.  And it's not horror.  In the story there is another world connected to ours by a structure called The Dark Tower.  One can travel between these two worlds, and the other world has an order of protectors called gunslingers.  Idris Elba plays what seems to be the last remaining gunslinger from that world.  And Matthew McConaughey plays the villain that these gunslingers tried to protect their world against.

It looks kinda cool in my opinion, but I feel obligated to mention that early reviews have been overwhelmingly negative.

The Dark Tower is rated PG-13 for thematic material including sequences of gun violence and action.

Kidnap

Girl power!

Halle Berry's child gets kidnapped and she goes full Mark Wahlberg to get him back.

I'm sorry.  I am sorry.  But you can't just give male roles to women.  It's never going to work.  To be fair, I haven't seen this movie.  But if you replace Halle Berry with Mark Wahlberg in the trailer, it would change nothing about the character.  This is the problem with movies like this.  It's obviously meant to be empowering for women, because "Look!  Women can do awesome man stuff too!"  But it's just pandering.  I want female leads to display femininity, not masculinity.  Not because that's their place and they shouldn't get out of line.  But because that's what actresses can provide to a level that actors just can't.

Just rotoscope lipstick onto Mark Wahlberg in The Lovely Bones and you have the same movie.

Kidnap is rated R for violence and peril.

      Big Shot Critic