In Theaters: February 28th, 2014

Two wide releases this weekend!

Non-Stop

Who knew seven years ago (before Taken) that Liam Neeson would become one of the industry's busiest action stars?

The movie that looked like Taken 2, but wasn't, was 2011's Unknown.  They both star Liam Neeson as a super spy, they both take place in a prominent European city, and they both feature him beating the snot out of everyone in that city.

Although Unknown was a smarter movie than Taken, it was not as well done.  And it bore too much similarity to The Bourne Identity.  Other than that it was solid.

Non-Stop is the second pairing of Unknown director (that's funny), Juame Collet-Serra, and Liam Neeson.  Neeson plays an air marshall on a transatlantic flight who has to deal with . . . well, you know, bad guys.

I predict that people will come away pleased and by June 1st they will forget this movie ever existed.

Fun thought: If Juame had been unknown before directing Unknown he would have been the unknown Unknown director.  Not funny?  Moving on.

Son of God

I don't really imagine these movies stealing each other's market share this weekend.

Son of God is basically an extended cut of the Jesus episodes of The History Channel's The Bible miniseries.  That said, the miniseries was the highest rated cable show of 2013 and it was an Emmy nominee.

As something originally designed for television my only worry is that the pacing will be strange in the form of a film.  I bet this does big business over Easter weekend.

     The one.  The only.  Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: February 21st, 2014

Two wide releases this weekend!

3 Days to Kill

3 Days to Kill is a Luc Besson production.  That means lots of action and style.  It's directed by McG and that means lots of action and more than a little bit of cheesiness.

Other Luc Besson productions include Taken and The Fifth Element.  Other McG directed films include both Charlie's Angels movies.  Put it together and what do you get?  3 Days to Kill.

Critics don't seem to like it, and McG's record is spotty, but it could go either way I think.

Pompeii

Well, we all know the ending to this one already, don't we?  I'm not sure, but I imagine the target audience here is people who were disappointed with the visual effects in a Nova episode about Pompeii.  Because, let's be honest, a third of the people who see this will be there just to see the action scene we all know is going to happen.

From director Paul W.S. Anderson, known for such intelligent, cerebral action movies as Alien vs Predator and three of the five Resident Evil movies (I'm not kidding), and a writing team responsible for such groundbreaking movies as Batman Forever and some other stuff nobody has ever heard of comes POMPEII.

Sounds brilliant, doesn't it?

      The one.  The only.  Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: February 14th, 2014

Four wide releases this week!

About Last Night

Let me give it to you straight.  This has "forgettable" written all over it.  And I have no idea why Michael Ealy is doing a Richard Pryor impression at the bottom of the poster.

This director has done nothing of note, and the writer is one of those new age types that is completely out of touch with everyone in the world except for people who hang out at Coffee shops.  Not Starbucks though - too mainstream.  Don't believe me?  Look at her picture.

this is not a joke

It gets worse.  Her script is based off another script written thirty years ago.  And that script was based on a play written before that!

And then Kevin Hart is involved somehow.  Wasn't he just in a movie like two months ago?  Does anybody remember that movie?  No?  Exactly.  (in reality I do remember Ride Along, and it looked way funnier than this)

In summary this is a movie for black people, directed by a white guy, written by an uber yuppie hipster lady, based on a thirty-year-old movie, that was based on a play written by the same guy who wrote The Untouchables, a famous action/crime drama from the 80's.  Should be a hit!  (lolwut?)

Endless Love

"Say goodbye to Innocence."  A tagline parents can have confidence in when they research the movie their teenagers want to go see.  Except that nobody will want to go see this movie.

Quick side note: when I say a movie looks stupid and it won't make any money (like Vampire Academy last week) I'm not just blowing hot air.  That movie bombed hard.  It made less than five million dollars and opened in seventh place.

In a movie about a young sheltered girl falling in love with a parking valet/car thief with a criminal record the responsible father becomes the bad guy.  How do you like that?  A nice message for our kids.  I think I've said enough about this one.

RoboCop (Wednesday Release)

This one is a bit of a mystery.  Wildcard is the word I've used before.  This writer/director duo is known in Brazil for making solid action movies.  Early reviews are cut right down the middle.  You might like it, you might not.

Something about this movie makes me think I'll like it.  I just don't know.  Read the reviews and decide which ones you think you'll agree with.  Or just go see it.

Winter's Tale

This movie's trailer doesn't do anything but confuse people.  A few things are clear.  Time travel of some sort is involved, Colin Farrell is in it, and some people fall in love.  Other than that it doesn't make sense.  Nobody knows why there is time traveling or what makes it so touching.  However, the idea of time travel in love stories is inspiring to all science fiction nerds who want girlfriends.

One thing has been bugging me.  Not even the poster has chemistry!!  Take a look!  Does she look in love to you?

This movie won't make very much movie because nobody knows what it's about.

      The one.  The only.  Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: February 7th, 2014

Three wide releases this weekend!

The Lego Movie

Long ago I had my doubts about the idea of making a Lego movie but that all changed when I read one interview of the directors a couple years ago.  From the article I learned that the directing team was a couple of major goofballs and they were going to use computer animation made to look like stop motion.  Being the directing team behind two other feature film adaptations of assorted childhood favorites (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and 21 Jump Street) they won me over with a joking remark about building their careers by destroying childhood memories.  I haven't doubted the success of this movie ever since.

The Monuments Men

From director George Clooney comes an action/drama/comedy (or is it an action/comedy/drama?) based on a true story!  During World War II a special military force is tasked with rescuing and preserving priceless pieces of art in war-torn Europe.  If an action/drama/comedy sounds a little tonally crowded to you you're not alone.  Even the trailer makes you wonder which it is.  Obviously George Clooney made his career as an actor, but he may be a good director yet.  Who knows?  Not me.

Vampire Academy

So . . . uh . . . Harry Potter meets Twilight meets Fifty Shades of Grey?

In yet another attempt to bring a young adult novel to the big screen (since 2008 they've been trying to bring EVERY SINGLE ONE to the screen) we have Vampire Academy.  From what I gather in the trailer they are vampires, I think they're in High School, and the main characters are two girls.  But the bit that threw me off is the quick romance shots in the trailer.  Who is the target audience here?  I have no idea.

They're hoping to get a franchise started, but unless this movie cost them less than ten million dollars to make, they don't stand a chance.

The producers who greenlit this movie are the type of producers who think that people will want to see anything with vampires in it because Twilight (the book series) was a success.  Producers can be unbelievably short-sighted, but that's a very long and different story.

      The one.  The only.  Big Shot Critic 

Review: Love Surreal

Love Surreal

      Love Surreal is a romantic comedy TV movie about a young artist named Abby who winds up tutoring a young man in her class, Quinn.  Although she is not initially fond of Quinn she ends up falling for him.

      The script is based on a stage play and while it shines in some places, it feels pretty cheap in others.  Sometimes it feels very genuine and sometimes it leaves much to be wanted.  Whatever it is it has a consistency that wins you over and ultimately entertains.

      Ryan Little directs and - much like the script - he takes no risks.  That said, for a TV movie it works great, and I can't say anything bad about a director who delivers exactly what the audience wants.

      At the start of Nick Zano's performance it seems bad.  But as the story solidifies you realize his character is something of a simpleton and his performance fits.  Simpleton might not be the right word.  Quinn is an uncomplicated man who has flaws and the story needs him.  Shiri Appleby (our lead) brings everything to the lead role of a TV movie that is required; nothing more and nothing less.  I noted more than one time in the film when Nick and the supporting cast turned bored lines into good ones.  Will Friedle, of Boy Meets World fame, is of particular interest as Quinn's roommate.

      This movie feels A LOT like the 2003 Pride and Prejudice.  And my love for that movie and my acceptance of this one are almost certainly connected.  That's not even mentioning the two cast members in common between the two movies.  I tend to go easy on movies and this is no different.  It's cute, it's entertaining, and it has a good message.  If you have the means and even a bit of desire to watch it I honestly believe you'll enjoy it.

      The one.  The only.  Big Shot Critic