In Theaters: October 27, 2017

There are THREE new wide releases this weekend.  And all three are rated R.  So much for alternative programming.

Suburbicon

Unsurprisingly, the movie written by the Coens and directed by George Clooney looks stylish!

But it's very likely form over function.  George's last film, Monuments Men, was very okay, but had a lot of difficulty resulting from tonal shifts that Clooney seemed unable to handle well.  Reviews for Suburbicon cite the same weakness.  He can do comedy, drama, or even action pretty well, but the transitions fail consistently.  It's a shame, and I hope he cracks it, because he could be a very stylish filmmaker indeed.

Suburbicon is a crime comedy set against the backdrop of a new turnkey housing development in the 1950's.  Matt Damon's family moves there and he starts to be harassed by organized crime, seemingly for falling behind on an off-the-books loan.  Expect it to be much more dramatic at times than its trailer lets on.  It's the Clooney way.

Suburbicon is rated R for violence, language and some sexuality.

Jigsaw

A franchise can be very hard to kill.  Curse you, James Wan, for being such a master of horror!

For those of you who don't know, James Wan is the undisputed king of horror right now.  His breakout film was the first Saw.  And that means I can blame him for this!  He's only involved as an executive producer, but still.

I had to look it up, and it turns out there were seven Saw movies.  That's already way too many.  Jigsaw is the villain of the Saw films, a man who sets up extremely sadistic games and traps and fates for people in an effort to get them to value life, or something.  It's pretty stupid.  And if I remember right, the Jigsaw character actually died a few movies ago.  I never saw any of the movies, but I picked up details here and there over the years.  Anyway, Jigsaw is apparently upset that his franchise hasn't been relevant since 2010.  Don't tell him this, but it hasn't really been relevant since 2004.

Jigsaw is rated R for sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture, and for language.

Thank You for Your Service

PTSD: The Movie.

But really though, this movie is trying to take a very serious look at the lasting emotional and mental damage that can come from service in war.  Shockingly, this movie will likely not get very political.  It's about the soldiers' lives after they get home.

Thank You for Your Service is rated R for strong violent content, language throughout, some sexuality, drug material and brief nudity.

      Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: October 20, 2017

There are FIVE new wide releases this weekend, and I'm a day late.  Let's get to it.  These movies aren't going to harshly judge themselves!

Geostorm

This movie is doing a pretty good job disguising itself as a real blockbuster action movie, but it's not.

I had never heard of this movie before the trailer showed up online, and for a movie this big, that's a red flag.  It basically means that it's an overblown SyFy channel original.  You see, if there are any heavy hitters involved, or any serious action movie pedigree, people would have reported on it, the casting would have been announced, and I would've heard about it.  But with this there was nothing at all, and then the trailer.

The second red flag is that all of the actors in this movie are either well on their way to the direct-to-video market, or have already dabbled once or twice.

The third red flag is that it's a disaster movie NOT directed by Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012).  Emmerich's films have become cheesy, but they're rarely unwatchable, and these days they stand firmly in the guilty pleasure sub-genre of action films.  Geostorm is directed by Emmerich's writing and producing partner, Dean Devlin.  His main qualifications for directing this movie?  He's chummy with Emmerich.

It's gonna be lame, you've been warned.  I'm sure the visuals will be striking, but not worth it.

Geostorm is rated PG-13 for destruction, action and violence.

Only The Brave

Brace yourself.  It's a true story and the real ending wasn't pretty.

Joseph Kosinski directed this movie.  His last two movies were science fiction, and because he's a trained architect, he has a lot to do with the design of those fictional worlds he worked in (Tron: Legacy and Oblivion).  So for him to switch to a movie that is not only a true story, but takes place in the woods a lot of the time, is curious.  I wonder how he will create a strong aesthetic like he has before.

On the less encouraging side of things, one of the writers is Ken Nolan, who worked on Transformers: The Last Knight.  That writing was maybe the worst I've ever seen in a studio release.

Only The Brave is rated PG-13 for thematic content, some sexual references, language and drug material.

Same Kind of Different as Me

This could be the one.  This could be the next Christian film to elevate the genre.  Also, Renée Zellweger isn't squinting anymore!

It's about a married couple who help out a homeless man.  It all looks very tearful.  The trailer still has WAY too many suspended cymbal rolls (a mainstay of trailers for faith-based films), but it looks like a well made film with solid acting.

Same Kind of Different as Me is rated PG-13 for thematic elements including some violence and language.

The Snowman

Think of it as Se7en's little brother.  Or, if David Fincher's films Se7en and Zodiac were two friends hanging out, The Snowman would be the annoying neighbor kid who really wishes he was as cool as them.

It's a police vs serial killer movie.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the word "Fincher-esque" was thrown around during the making of this film.  You can tell it wants to be smart, but it looks like it indulges too much into horror elements.

Now that I think about it, I'm guessing the word "Fincher-esque" is how they got Michael Fassbender on board.  It's also a shame that Rebecca Ferguson can't get better roles.

The Snowman is rated R for grisly images, violence, some language, sexuality and brief nudity.

Tyler Perry's Boo 2! A Madea Halloween

I just can't say anything bad about a Tyler Perry movie.  I just can't do it!  Tyler Perry's Madea movies are so reliably goofy and unobtrusive.  He doesn't reach for a wider audience than he needs, and therein lies the key.  He knows not to push it and try to advertise his movies as something they're not.

In case you didn't know, it's just a spoof of any and all Halloween slasher horrors.

Boo 2! A Madea Halloween is rated PG-13 for sexual references, drug content, language and some horror images.

      Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: October 13, 2017

There are FOUR new wide releases coming out this Friday the thirteenth.  Only one of them is a horror movie.

The Foreigner

I actually saw this movie at a test screening in July.  It's weird.

Jackie Chan plays a chinaman living a quiet life in London.  He owns and manages a restaurant and is raising his teenage daughter.  On an errand to pick up a dress for a school dance, his daughter gets caught in an explosion.  She dies and he is injured.  It's actually a very effective emotional moment in the movie.  For the record, this is not a spoiler.  It's in the trailer for the movie.

The bombing is quickly linked to the IRA.  And the Chinaman learns on the news that there is an Irish politician who is a former member, and current liaison, for the IRA.  I don't know much about the politics of the British Isles, but according to this movie the IRA does in fact operate on some level in such official channels.  Anyway, this politician is played by real life Irishman, Pierce Brosnan.

So it's pretty much Chinaman versus Irishman for most of the movie from there.  Jackie Chan's efforts to get information from the politician escalate from over the phone requests, to in person visits, to eventual violence.  And this is one reason why I say this movie is weird: the Chinaman has zero evidence to suggest that the Irishman knows any of the details he is asking for.  Yet he persists.  The story loses a lot of value there for me, because I don't see why a real person would behave that way.

The other reason I say this movie is weird is because it treats its audience as experts on English-Irish relations, and particularly the IRA.  It can be a little difficult to follow at times for this reason.

But the action scenes were really good.

The Foreigner is rated R for violence, language and some sexual material.

Happy Death Day

You know how I am about horror movies.  This one might be okay.

So a girl wakes up, goes about her day, and gets murdered at the end.  Then she wakes up again just like before, goes about the same day as before, and gets murdered again.  Repeat.  She has to find out why it's happening and how to stop it.  It's basically Edge of Tomorrow as a horror film.  Kind of an interesting idea, I must admit.

Happy Death Day is rated PG-13 for violence/terror, crude sexual content, language, some drug material and partial nudity.

Marshall

Chadwick Boseman has cornered the market on biopics of black men.  And that's okay with me.

Thurgood Marshall was the first black Supreme Court justice.  This movie centers around one of his court cases before that.  This historical drama looks like it has a pretty modern attitude.  I might actually go see it.

Marshall is rated PG-13 for mature thematic content, sexuality, violence and some strong language.

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women

Shamelessly riding on the coat tails of Wonder Woman, comes this film about the character's creator.

Bottom line, this guy had a wife and a live-in mistress.  He was sick.  Sometimes good things come from bad places.  But this movie is attempting to celebrate the twisted origins.  I would steer clear.

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women is rated R for strong sexual content including brief graphic images, and language.

      Big Shot Critic

In Theaters: October 6, 2017

There are FOUR wide releases this weekend.  That's a lot.  Who's ready for a SPEED ROUND?

Blade Runner 2049

After nine and a half long years, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is no longer the most uncalled for sequel in history.  But Harrison Ford has solidified his place in the annals of uncalled for sequels.

Back in 1982, Ridley Scott's Blade Runner hit theaters.  Critics really didn't like it at first, and it certainly didn't break any box office records.  At least not any that one would want to break (if you don't know what I'm saying, think Gigli).  It took a few years for the original Blade Runner to become loved by anyone, and a few more for it to be widely recognized as a modern sci-fi classic.  To this day there's kind of a three way split of overall opinions on the original.  Some say it's flawless (whichever version they're talking about).  Some say it delivers on ambition and it means well, but it falls flat in some spots and has issues.  And some prescribe it to their insomniac friends.  It is worth mentioning that all three groups agree that it looks stunning, even today.  And famed cinematographer Roger Deakins has returned for the sequel.

For the uninitiated, a blade runner is a law enforcement officer tasked with tracking down and terminating replicants.  Replicants are lifelike robots made to look like people, and sometimes they go rogue.  Blade Runner 2049 is set thirty years after the original.  Yes, the original was set two years from now, and no, Los Angeles looks nothing like it does in the original.

Okay, fine, I'll tell you my opinion.  I think the original does interesting things with its ideas, and I think this new one might even be good.  But more likely it will be super weird and pretentious, like the original.  I mean, Jared Leto is in it.  It has to be pretentious.

Blade Runner 2049 is rated R for violence, some sexuality, nudity and language.

The Mountain Between Us

Two strangers crash on a mountain and have to learn to cooperate and trust each other in order to survive.  I said speed round, didn't I?

The Mountain Between Us is rated PG-13 for a scene of sexuality, peril, injury images, and brief strong language.

My Little Pony

This is not the main theatrical poster for this film.  That poster was WAY too cutesy for my blog.  This is one of the villains.

Apparently My Little Pony has made a comeback.  I'm actually not really opposed to this so much.  But I can't explain why I'm not opposed.

The main character is Princess Twilight Sparkle and I feel like that pretty much says it all.  This new version of My Little Pony knows it's built on candy-coated glitter and sunshine, and it leverages that for comedic and narrative purposes.  I actually approve!

My Little Pony is rated R for grisly creature violence, pervasive language, and drug use.

I'm kidding it's rated PG for mild action.

The Stray

You know when movie trailers display text in segments with clips in between and it forms a sentence or a tagline?  If you're like me, three text segments or more is too many to remember.  The trailer for The Stray had about fifteen I think.

This production company was set up specifically to produce family friendly entertainment.  It's not a faith-based film, but it suffers from all the same problems.  When you view your target market as a gimme (i.e. families will come because it's the only family offering) quality goes straight in the garbage.  Add to that the fact that it's a true story.  And add to that the fact that the true story belongs to the writer/director.  Now you have a triple-compounded problem.  True stories have structure issues, and autobiographical stories have sentimentality issues.  This just doesn't look like a winner.

The Stray is rated PG for thematic elements including a perilous situation.

      Big Shot Critic