Blade Runner 2049
After nine and a half long years, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is no longer the most uncalled for sequel in history. But Harrison Ford has solidified his place in the annals of uncalled for sequels.
Back in 1982, Ridley Scott's Blade Runner hit theaters. Critics really didn't like it at first, and it certainly didn't break any box office records. At least not any that one would want to break (if you don't know what I'm saying, think Gigli). It took a few years for the original Blade Runner to become loved by anyone, and a few more for it to be widely recognized as a modern sci-fi classic. To this day there's kind of a three way split of overall opinions on the original. Some say it's flawless (whichever version they're talking about). Some say it delivers on ambition and it means well, but it falls flat in some spots and has issues. And some prescribe it to their insomniac friends. It is worth mentioning that all three groups agree that it looks stunning, even today. And famed cinematographer Roger Deakins has returned for the sequel.
For the uninitiated, a blade runner is a law enforcement officer tasked with tracking down and terminating replicants. Replicants are lifelike robots made to look like people, and sometimes they go rogue. Blade Runner 2049 is set thirty years after the original. Yes, the original was set two years from now, and no, Los Angeles looks nothing like it does in the original.
Okay, fine, I'll tell you my opinion. I think the original does interesting things with its ideas, and I think this new one might even be good. But more likely it will be super weird and pretentious, like the original. I mean, Jared Leto is in it. It has to be pretentious.
Blade Runner 2049 is rated R for violence, some sexuality, nudity and language.
The Mountain Between Us
Two strangers crash on a mountain and have to learn to cooperate and trust each other in order to survive. I said speed round, didn't I?
The Mountain Between Us is rated PG-13 for a scene of sexuality, peril, injury images, and brief strong language.
My Little Pony
This is not the main theatrical poster for this film. That poster was WAY too cutesy for my blog. This is one of the villains.
Apparently My Little Pony has made a comeback. I'm actually not really opposed to this so much. But I can't explain why I'm not opposed.
The main character is Princess Twilight Sparkle and I feel like that pretty much says it all. This new version of My Little Pony knows it's built on candy-coated glitter and sunshine, and it leverages that for comedic and narrative purposes. I actually approve!
My Little Pony is rated R for grisly creature violence, pervasive language, and drug use.
I'm kidding it's rated PG for mild action.
The Stray
You know when movie trailers display text in segments with clips in between and it forms a sentence or a tagline? If you're like me, three text segments or more is too many to remember. The trailer for The Stray had about fifteen I think.
This production company was set up specifically to produce family friendly entertainment. It's not a faith-based film, but it suffers from all the same problems. When you view your target market as a gimme (i.e. families will come because it's the only family offering) quality goes straight in the garbage. Add to that the fact that it's a true story. And add to that the fact that the true story belongs to the writer/director. Now you have a triple-compounded problem. True stories have structure issues, and autobiographical stories have sentimentality issues. This just doesn't look like a winner.
The Stray is rated PG for thematic elements including a perilous situation.
Big Shot Critic
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